Be Careful of What You Wish For
by jakefanatic
Summary: Plot bunny challenge by Lizardios. Basically Jack and Selmak swap places. Note, Jacob remains as is. And for added humor, Selmak is female. And this is a Janet and Jacob pairing story as well, also for added humor.
1. Chapter 1

Author's notes: It has long been debated whether or not Selmak is male or female. For this story's purpose and for added humor, Selmak is female. Beware for there is quite a bit of language and some adult content.

' ': denotes internal dialogue between symbiote and host; italics: denotes symbiote speaking out loud or person on other end of phone conversation

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The day started off nice for a Thursday. Jacob enjoyed a long early morning run. Something he had done on a regular basis before he joined the Tok'ra, while living as a Tok'ra, and even now that he and Selmak made their permanent residence on Earth. However, Jacob had truly missed running through the streets of neighborhoods, even in the snow. Anything was better than the dry desert sand. The sand got everywhere…and he did mean **_everywhere_**. Plus it was never as refreshing to the senses as the cold, crisp, clean morning air of an early snowy winter day.

After his run, he showered and headed over to his Sam's house where he had a wonderful breakfast with her. Though Selmak wouldn't let him touch or even take a whiff of the pot of coffee Sam made for herself. At least the breakfast Sam made more than made up for the lack of a rich, flavorful, hot cup of coffee. Jacob couldn't believe his daughter the genius finally learned how to cook a meal without burning it. There was a time when she would ruin a pot by simply boiling water.

From there, he headed to the SGC to work on his reports. Once done with his reports he had promised that Selmak would help Dr. Jackson with the translation of some obscure Goa'uld writings etched on artifacts SG-12 brought back from their last mission. It was a tedious task but one Selmak enjoyed. She was into that kind of thing just like the young archeologist. And part of Jacob's job was to keep her happy – otherwise he'd have to hear her bitch about how he never let her have **_any_** fun.

Everything was going well and Jacob allowed his thoughts to dwell on the evening ahead while Selmak worked. What to cook for dinner and what would he have for dessert were his toughest issues to handle. That was, until Jack O'Neill walked into Dr. Jackson's office and plucked up an artifact off the desk that Selmak was working on.

From then on, everything quickly went to hell!

Ever since Jacob and Selmak had tucked their tails and come to Earth to live, he couldn't figure Jack out. Somewhere along the way the man had changed in his view towards Jacob. They used to be good friends, gone on missions together, or done manly stuff together like drinking beer and eating steak. Jacob even saved Jack's ass! Now, Jack no longer called Jacob Dad. Jacob's feelings weren't hurt. It took a lot to hurt his feelings. But it was very apparent that Jack had some resentment towards Jacob because of Selmak.

Whether it was intentional or not, Jack's cynical mouth had a tendency to say harmful things towards Selmak. He always referred to Selmak as a snake or an arrogant smart-ass, never as anything else. He could never keep his mouth shut whenever she gave a briefing. It was like he was purposely antagonizing Selmak with his glib remarks. And of course she couldn't let it be as she always got pissed off! So much so that she wanted to wrap her tail around Jack's neck and squeeze the life out of him like she'd seen in that movie Aliens.

Jacob knew that Jack hated the Goa'uld for what happened to Major Kawalsky and Skara. And Jacob knew that Jack **_really_** disliked the Tok'ra after his blending with Kanan went down the shitter! Kanan had broken one of the Tok'ra's highest laws and thus shattered what little remaining trust Jack had in them. But somewhere along the way, Jack hating symbiotes seemed to have translated to Jack hating Jacob. At least that's how Jacob saw it.

Now, Jacob was a resilient man. He could take anything and if Jack didn't want to be friends, well that was fine with Jacob. Selmak however…although she was some two thousand years old that didn't mean her feelings were immune to being called names. She too had thought Jack was a friend and it did bother her whenever he called her a snake. Normally, she sucked it up and just complained to Jacob about it.

Today…today she must have been PMSing because she retaliated and there wasn't a damn thing Jacob could do to stop her.

Jacob was completely caught off guard and didn't even have the opportunity to stop Selmak from throwing the first punch! Nor would she refuse to relinquish control back to Jacob when he tried to force himself fore. She was so pissed off he could even feel her flippers trembling.

After that there was no going back.

Blood spilt instantly when Selmak's fist connected hard with Jack's nose. He threw a punch back so fast it caught Selmak by surprise. More importantly, the punch caught Jacob's left eyebrow, as it was his body taking the beating. But that didn't stop Selmak, nothing was going to stop her, not even Jacob.

She threw a wild punch. Jack ducked then came up swinging. Only he missed too as Selmak rarely made the same mistake twice. The fists were flying. Several blows were exchanged before Daniel was finally able to force his way between Jack and Selmak.

"**_I am not a snake you dense moron_!**" Selmak roared. _"**Apologize!**"_

"**Pucker up and kiss my completely snake free ass!**"

"**Guys!**" Daniel shouted holding both back with a hand against each one's chest.

"He started it!" Jack shot, holding his nose and pointing an accusing finger.

Selmak fired back with her a finger of her own.

'Selmak, that's not a very lady like gesture!' Jacob chastised her.

'I'm inhabiting the body of a man…it's totally appropriate! And you wanted to do it at the council after they told us to leave the Tok'ra. I'm just more impulsive than you.'

"Jack…" Daniel started.

"No!" he barked, pushing Daniel's hand away. "I'm tired of Selmak's arrogant ass thinking he's **_so_** much better than the rest of us! If he was that much better, then why did the council kick him out in the first place?"

"**_You think that was easy for me…making a decision like that to leave my people?_**"

"**Oh, yeah…hiding behind your host. You've got it easy with Jacob. He takes you for a ride wherever you want to go. And if he doesn't…you take him for the ride.**"

"**_It doesn't work that way. Besides, you wouldn't last two seconds in my place. Being in true harmony with your host is a 24/7 job. Something your puny brain couldn't handle, much less comprehend_!**"

"**Well you wouldn't last two seconds on your own in my shoes. You're always so dependent on your host!**"

Selmak shoved Daniel aside and reached, grabbing hold of the artifact with the intention of taking it from Jack. He held on tightly, refusing to let it go.

"_**I just wish you could see things from my perspective, you really need to be taught a lesson!**" _Selmak snarled, tugging hard on the artifact.

"**Yeah, right. I wish you could spend one day as me and try to pull off being HUMAN! It might be a humbling experience for you, you arrogant son of a bitch!**" Jack shot back, keeping his hold on the artifact.

'Selmak, this is childish! **Let go**!' Jacob pleaded with her as she made a growling noise at Jack.

'Fuck no! Him first!' she countered as she and Jack were playing tug-a-war.

"Guys, this is ridiculous!" Daniel shouted, trying to pry them apart again.

'**SELMAK, DROP IT! THAT'S AN ORDER!**' Jacob screamed at her using that hard ass General tone of his.

Then there was a sudden jolt in Selmak's hand that was clutching the artifact. It literally felt like an electrical discharge of some kind that shot from her hand up her arm. Whatever it was happened to Jack at the same time as both he and Selmak dropped the artifact, each clutching their own hand. And Jacob finally found himself in control of his own body.

"Jack…"

"**Jacob, you keep that damn snake of yours quiet around me. Or I swear I'll rip him out with my bare hands!**" Jack shouted then stormed off.

"What bug crawled up his ass?" Jacob asked, flexing his still stinging hand. "He's never been this verbally abusive towards Selmak before."

Daniel bent down and picked up the artifact off the floor.

"I think part of the reason is that you got his parking spot," Daniel joked.

Jacob didn't laugh. He wasn't in the mood for bullshit. Not with Selmak spewing off Goa'uld obscenities in his head, one after the other. And certainly not with the welt he felt forming on his forehead! He really wanted to know if his suspicions about why Jack hated him were true.

"Seriously, Daniel. What gives?"

Daniel gave Jacob a long uneasy look. A look that confirmed Jacob's suspicions. Still, he had to hear it to be certain.

"Daniel, just tell me," Jacob insisted. "I'll find out sooner or later. I'd rather it be sooner. I hate this beating around the bush crap!"

"Jack has this thing…he…he just really hates symbiotes, Goa'uld or Tok'ra," Daniel explained. "Everyone knows it. It's not yours or Selmak's fault. But the final straw was the Kanan incident. He never forgave the Tok'ra for it. The whole situation really bothered him, more than he would admit to anyone. Yours and Selmak's presence here just brings up all those bad memories again."

"I thought as much," Jacob sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess it was foolish to think he'd be over it by now."

"Jacob, you know Jack as well as the rest of us. He can be as stubborn as a mule. And he hates doctors, especially psychiatrists. Despite General Hammond's **_requests_**, Jack has managed to weasel his way out of each of his appointments with Dr. McKenzie. Just give him time to adjust. You've only been a regular part of the SGC for a few weeks now. And it might help if…"

"If…what?" Jacob asked when Daniel hesitated.

"Perhaps…if Selmak could try to be a little less…patronizing," Daniel said, taking a step back. "He does tend to talk down to Jack and the rest of us."

Jacob grimaced as he literally heard Selmak slam a door shut within his mind! Great, she was going to be pissed for the rest of the day, which meant that Jacob was going to have a headache for the rest of the day too! He didn't blame her. This wasn't totally her fault. He could have told her to tone it down a notch. Only Jacob cared for Selmak as much as she cared for him. He would never ask her to be anything less than what she was.

"Well, it's hard for Selmak too," Jacob pointed out with full honestly. "When you reach two thousand years old and have so much knowledge crammed into your brain, let's see you try to make idle conversation with someone who's a mere fraction of your age."

Jacob paused. For once, he allowed Selmak's anger to get the better of him.

"And you guys could give Selmak a break too! He gave up **_a lot_** when he left the Tok'ra. I know. I was there when the Council gave him the ultimatum. Jack isn't the only one who needs time to adjust, Daniel. Selmak's adjusting to life on Earth too."

"Really, I just assumed…" Daniel started, paused, then sighed. He looked slightly humiliated when he continued. "I'm sorry. I guess it was just so easy to forget about what Selmak had to give up when you came to Earth. He's rather quiet and when he talks…"

"Yeah, I know…he comes off sounding arrogant," Jacob finished, feeling rather angry and frustrated at the moment.

"Something like that," Daniel said softly. "Maybe if Selmak and Jack actually just talked to each other instead of antagonizing each other a truce can be made."

"That won't be any time soon. Selmak's even more stubborn than I am," Jacob remarked as he reached out to Selmak. No response, just the closed door was there where she'd be in his mind. Obviously she was not ready to deal with the outside world yet. Oh well, she'll be happy later that he defended her. She always liked it when he stuck up for her. "Is it broken?"

"No," Daniel answered, turning the artifact over in his hand and taking closer look at it. "I was just wondering why Selmak and Jack drop it like a hot potato."

"I…" Jacob started but his cell phone rang. He quickly pulled it out of his pant pocket and read the caller ID. Finally, a ray of sunshine! "Excuse, me…I have to answer this." He opened the phone, hoping this was good news, as Selmak really needed it right now. So did his headache! "Hello. How are you feeling? Still up for this evening?"

"_Much, much better and of course I am. I wouldn't miss it. You alone?_" a lovely familiar voice asked him.

"Not exactly," Jacob smiled in a hushed tone, turning away from Daniel.

"_Darn…want to come over and play?_"

"You sure?" he questioned.

"_No more fever and my appetite's back."_

"Good, I hate it when you're sick. Give me twenty minutes?"

"_Not a minute longer._"

"On my way," he said excitedly, then hung up and turned back to Daniel. "Sorry, I gotta go."

"Hot date?" Daniel asked, with a smirk on his face.

"Something like that," Jacob grinned from ear to ear.


	2. Chapter 2

Teal'c headed to the gym around his normal time. Usually a few of hours after lunch, about an hour or two before the shift change for the day occurred. At that time of day the gym was nearly deserted, which gave Teal'c plenty of time to complete the majority of his workout regiment before SGC personnel started trickling in before or at the end of their shifts.

As he approached, he could hear the distinct sound of someone hitting the punching bag. They were punching fast and hard. Very hard. He even thought he could hear someone grunting as each punch connected with the bag. As he entered, he was surprised that it was Colonel O'Neill punching. And poor Sgt. Siler was grunting as he struggled to hold the bag steady with each punch.

From the way the Colonel was slamming his fists into the bag Teal'c could tell his friend was upset. Very upset. Probably a little ticked off, as O'Neill would say it. And O'Neill appeared so recklessly ticked off that he didn't even break in his punches when one came dangerously close to Siler's face. When Siler had to duck to avoid the next punch, Teal'c decided it was time to step in and perhaps discover what was troubling O'Neill. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that O'Neill's nose was red and slightly swollen?

"Sgt. Siler, I will relieve you," Teal'c announced. O'Neill paused and stared at him for a moment. "If that is alright with you O'Neill."

"Whatever," O'Neill shrugged.

"Thank you, Sir!" Siler said, looking somewhat relieved probably because he managed to escape without too much bodily harm. He quickly nodded to Teal'c and then hurried away at almost a running pace.

Colonel O'Neill immediately resumed pounding away at the bag once Teal'c had a hold of it. Something was truly bothering the man as each punch had quite a bit of force behind it, even for O'Neill.

"O'Neill, is there something troubling you?" Teal'c asked out right as he always believed in being direct and to the point.

After two quick solid jabs the Colonel stopped, dropping his hands to his sides.

"What makes you think something's bothering me?" he grumbled, out of breath.

"You have never hit the punching bag with such aggressiveness before."

"And from that you think something's bothering me?" he asked, gingerly rubbing his nose.

"I do."

The Colonel gave Teal'c one of those incredulous looks of his. Teal'c was not fooled. He knew O'Neill was much smarter than he lead people to believe and in fact, relished playing dumb leading many of his enemies and some of his friends to underestimate him.

"We have been friends for a long time now, O'Neill. There is always a reason for your actions. I am simply here as your friend and want to understand what is troubling you."

"You really want to know…why don't you go ask **_him_**!" O'Neill snapped pointing off towards a wall.

Teal'c cocked his head to one side and observed that no one else was in the room with them.

"Perhaps I will, O'Neill. But to whom are you referring?" he asked.

"That sneaky, slithering, son of a bitch of a snake, Selmak!" O'Neill explained. "He punched me in the nose…damn near broke it!"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in surprise. He never thought Selmak would ever raise a fist towards anyone he considered a friend. It wasn't in his nature to do so. Not even his host, Jacob Carter would do such a thing. Both were experienced warriors, had a great deal of poise under duress, and wouldn't even strike an enemy unless it was self-defense or unless they had a reason. And they both possessed a great deal of personal honor.

In fact, Teal'c was convinced the ex-Tok'ra resistance leader would never throw a punch at Colonel O'Neill unless he had good cause. Therefore, Selmak must have been provoked. Presumably by something O'Neill said or did. From Teal'c's experience it was probably something O'Neill **_said_**. And while Teal'c considered O'Neill a good friend, he did have to admit that there were times when O'Neill needed to... as they said it on Earth... Put a sock in it.

"All I did was call him a snake!" O'Neill said.

And thus confirmed what Teal'c had speculated. Only he never thought the two would get physically confrontational with one another some over name-calling.

"Was that all you did?" Teal'c asked.

"Yeah…well…maybe I taunted him with some ancient gizmo thing. But I've called him a snake on a number of occasions before. And today, **_of all days_**, he takes it personally. Ask Daniel, he was there...he witnessed the whole assault!"

In hindsight, perhaps Teal'c shouldn't have been surprised that the altercation had taken place. There has been a growing animosity between Selmak and O'Neill lately. During briefings that had been conducted by Selmak, O'Neill had repeatedly asked unnecessary questions or made illogical comments. Selmak was dignified enough to ignore them and on one occasion General Hammond had ordered O'Neill to 'zip it'.

"Then the arrogant bastard had the nerve to ask for me to apologize! **_Me!_**" O'Neill continued. "And that was **_after_** he called me a dense moron!"

"Did you not say you called him a snake first?"

"That's beside the point!" O'Neill snapped, slamming his fist hard into the punching bag, causing Teal'c to have to adjust his stance.

"And did you not say you taunted him?"

"Whose side are you on?" O'Neill growled throwing one last punch.

"I am on no one's side," Teal'c answered honestly. "I am simply trying to ascertain how to resolve the situation."

"There's nothing to resolve. He's a **_snake,_** you can't change that," he countered, turning to walk away. Then he paused and turned back. "Do you know what I hate most? He thinks he's so much better than the rest of us…like we're beneath him. I hate being talked to like I'm a fucking child!"

"Selmak is in fact some two thousand years old. From his point of view, we are all children," Teal'c pointed out. "Even Jacob Carter, who is younger than myself and host to Selmak, says he feels like a child at times when comparing his knowledge with Selmak's."

"Yeah…well, we didn't **_ask_** for Selmak's knowledge! And we certainly don't need **_his_** help or any other Tok'ra's help for that matter," he complained, ripping his gloves off. "If you ask me, Selmak should never have come to Earth!"

"He and Jacob Carter were no longer welcome amongst the Tok'ra. And this is Jacob Carter's home. Where else might have Selmak gone?"

"**Anywhere but here!**" he shouted. "I don't give a rat's ass if this is Jacob's home. Selmak is **_never_** going to fit in here."

"Perhaps…"

"What am I talking to a wall here?" O'Neill interrupted. "I've had it! Carter thinks I'm being childish. Daniel thinks I'm being selfish. And now you turn against me! You want to be buddies with Jake and his snake? Fine! Go right ahead. I'm going home and getting drunk…**_alone_**!"

And like that, the conversation was over and Teal'c was alone. But that wasn't enough for Teal'c. Clearly something had to be done. Colonel O'Neill and Jacob Carter used to be good friends. And Teal'c didn't want to see the friendship dissolve over something that seemed so trivial. So, instead of working out, he headed off to enlist Dr. Jackson's help. If anyone could help negotiate a truce it would be Dr. Jackson.

"Oh, hey Teal'c, how you doing?" Jackson asked, while diligently working at his desk.

"Not well," Teal'c frowned. "I was just talking with Colonel O'Neill…"

"Ah…that. Did he tell you what happened?"

"Indeed, he made his feelings quite clear," he replied solemnly.

"Actually, I'm not surprised Selmak was antagonized enough into throwing that first punch. The tension between those two has been building up over the past couple of weeks."

"I have noticed as much as well. However, I believe something needs to be done."

"I agree but not by us," Jackson said. "It's something they'll have to deal with on their own."

Teal'c gave Daniel a look of disbelief. From the altercation he would have thought for certain that Daniel Jackson would be the first to intercede.

"Come on Teal'c, you know Jack as well as I do. The man can **_hold_** a grudge. Do you remember a guy named Frank Cromwell?"

"Indeed, Colonel Frank Cromwell. He perished while assisting O'Neill in delivering the bomb to disconnect the black hole from Earth's Stargate."

"Right, I wasn't actually there but Jack talked with me later about it. During an incursion in Iraq, Jack's team came under attack. Jack went down. Cromwell thought Jack was dead and made the decision to save the team. Only Jack didn't die and he spent four months in an Iraq prison. He didn't forgive his **_own_** friend for leaving him behind. He felt betrayed and deserted. Jack held that grudge for **_fifteen_** years."

"I see. He feels the same way after Kanan left him to be tortured by Ba'al. But why be angry with Selmak? He did nothing to betray O'Neill. In fact, he has assisted in rescuing O'Neill on several occasions."

"True, but a few of those situations were because of the Tok'ra. And Selmak's Tok'ra just like Kanan. Jack didn't get a chance to take it out his anger on Kanan so he's taking it out on Selmak. Selmak personifies everything Jack hates about the Tok'ra. And until he gets over it, he'll never accept Selmak back as a friend."

"I still believe we should intercede. We cannot wait fifteen years for them to work things out," Teal'c said. "While Selmak and Jacob Carter will most likely still be alive, O'Neill does not possess such longevity. Plus, his animosity towards Selmak and Jacob Carter is troubling Major Carter. She is greatly concerned for her father's well being as well as Selmak's."

"Thankfully, we don't have to wait that long," Jackson smiled. "Jacob doesn't like it when Selmak's upset like this so I know he will take the initiative and work things out with Jack. You'll see. Everyone will get along again. Jack and Jacob will be closer friends than they were before."


	3. Chapter 3

The soft beep of the alarm sounded more like a clanging fire alarm to Jack's ears, causing his head to throb. He moaned, pulling the pillow over his head in an attempt to muffle the sound. It didn't help. But he really didn't feel like moving at the moment. He had a headache and he didn't feel like doing much of anything. Not after what happened yesterday.

He let out a heavy sigh, sticking his hand out and hitting the snooze button.

Things just got blown out of proportion yesterday. He couldn't stop once he started. All those feelings of anger and resentment boiled over and Selmak ended up being the target just because he was once a member of the Tok'ra resistance. It wasn't the first time. It might not be the last. Each day had become more and more of a challenge to avoid Jacob or Selmak.

There was only one thing to do. Jack wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it yet. But he knew that sooner or later he was going to have to apologize to Selmak **_and_** Jacob. They weren't responsible for what Kanan had done to him. Nor were they responsible for what Ba'al did to him. And Jack knew that if Selmak and Jacob could have they would have saved his ass from being tortured. Hell, they probably would have swapped places with him as he would have done the same for them.

_**Crap.**_

Jack knew he was going to have to apologize to everyone. Carter, because her Dad was host to Selmak. Daniel, because Jack chewed his ass out last night when he came over to talk with Jack. Teal'c, because he was doing the same thing…he just wanted to talk. And definitely General Hammond because he was Jacob's friend and more importantly he was Jack's CO. One thing an officer never wanted to do was piss off the 'man' too much. Else they find themselves reassigned to some remote base where it's cold twelve months out of the year.

Only Jack was angrier with himself for allowing things to get so…complicated.

The snooze expired and the alarm sounded again interrupting his thoughts. And again, Jack moaned, pulling the pillow even tighter over his head. He **_really_** didn't want to face the day yet.

"You know it's easier if you just turn it off," a woman's sleepy voice yawned.

Jack's eyes popped open.

Ok, so he had been drinking last night. But he didn't think he had gotten **_that_** drunk last night. Or, at least he should have remembered if he were entertaining a guest. Especially a **_female_** guest! His eyes suddenly widened at the feeling of this woman's warm body snuggling closer against his as she leaned over him and turned off the alarm.

"Better?" she sighed, her head nestling on his chest.

He grunted a reply, keeping his head covered with the pillow. His mind raced trying to figure out who in the heck this woman was and how on Earth she ended up in **_his_** bed. He could swear he only had eight beers last night and didn't touch the hard liquor. Definitely not enough to get him totally shit-faced drunk but apparently enough for a hangover as indicated by his splitting headache.

His head seemed to hurt even more as he tried to concentrate. He couldn't remember even leaving his house last night. He was positive he didn't make any phone calls. Daniel came by, that was it. But he was only around for a few minutes. And Jack hasn't been dating anyone. Plus, he was not the kind of guy to go out and just pick up a woman for sex. Hell, he didn't even call those nine hundred numbers he'd seen late at night on television.

For the moment he stayed silent hoping this woman would go back to sleep. He didn't want to offend her by saying something stupid. From experience, he learned that woman were very sensitive the morning after. Presumably this was the morning after. Christ! He couldn't even remember if he **_had_** sex last night!

Maybe it was all a dream. He prayed that it was as the woman's voice was vaguely familiar! Unfortunately, things didn't go Jack's way. The woman was **_not_** in the mood for sleep. Oh boy…they definitely had sex as she seemed rather frisky and was **_extremely_** bold. Her warm lips moved slowly across his chest while one of her questing hands slid down…

"Whoa!" he shouted, jumping off the bed.

His mouth literally dropped wide open, as he was totally aghast at seeing who the woman was. Then a split second later, he quickly realized that he was totally naked. He promptly grabbed a pillow and he covered himself up in an attempted to keep some of his dignity.

"Dr. Fraiser?" he managed to somehow ask with his eyes wide open, brain too stunned to even think.

"Oh…I get it…you want to play **_that_** kind of game," she purred as she sat up.

"Jeez!" he yelped.

He closed his eyes quickly as the sheet fell off her chest. As much as he loved seeing a woman naked, he **_never_** wanted to see Janet naked. That would be like…like seeing one's own sister naked!

"Please?" she begged in a teasing tone.

"No…no I don't think I want to play that game," he sputtered, keeping his eyes closed.

"Come on…I want to play…I'll let **_you_** be the Doctor this time," she pouted.

Jack suddenly felt the warmth of her body right in front of him. Then delicate fingers slowly slid up his chest. He slowly opened an eye.

"Ah!" he shouted, snapping his eye shut again.

In that brief moment his eye had spotted an open door to what looked like the bathroom. Not wasting another moment, Jack opened his eyes and ran for it. He didn't even care that the pillow fell from his grasp. Nor did he stop and to pick it up.

He just desperately needed to shield his eyes from even **_accidentally_** getting a glimpse of Dr. Fraiser naked. For the moment, the sanctuary of a bathroom seemed more than an adequate enough place. Once inside, he slammed the door shut and breathed a sigh of relief.

"You ok?" Janet asked as she knocked on the door.

Jack locked it before she had a chance to turn the doorknob. Feeling a little vulnerable in his nakedness, he quickly grabbed one of the bath towels hanging nearby and wrapped it tightly around his waist.

"Just not feeling well…headache…too much to drink last night…you know," he said, cringing yet feeling that he was speaking the truth…to a certain degree. He must have been **_absolutely out of his mind_** to sleep with Janet Fraiser!

"Well take care of that headache and come back to bed! That's an order, soldier!"

Jack's eyes frantically searched the bathroom for a means of escape. There was none. The window above the shower was too small and Janet was on the other side of the door. He was trapped in Janet Fraiser's bathroom. Correction, he was trapped with no clothes on in Dr. Janet Fraiser's bathroom! Why couldn't it be any other woman's bathroom? What the hell was he thinking? What the hell was he even doing at Janet's house? Janet was like a sister. **_Everyone_** looked after her like she was his or her sister.

The sink!

Jack hurried for it, turning the cold water on.

"Maybe I'm dreaming," he muttered out loud watching the sink fill up with cold water. "_I must be dreaming. My voice doesn't even sound like mine!_"

Once the sink was full, Jack turned the water off then stuck his face in it. Something **_had_** to wake him up from this nightmare. His hands massaged his face beneath the water. Coming up slightly, he cupped the water in his hands and doused the back of his neck. Then he repeated the same process over the top of his head.

"_What the…_" he exclaimed when his hands didn't feel his hair on top of his head.

Jack shot up and looked in the mirror.

"_AAHHH!_" he screamed at the sight of another man's reflection, stumbling backwards and falling into the bathtub, nearly yanking the shower curtain down in the process. He cried out again when the back of his head smacked against the wall.

'Hey…I'm trying to sleep here! What the devil is going on?' a voice shouted.

Jack jumped out of the tub. Looking around he saw no one else in the room.

'Sel, why are we in the bathroom? You know I like waking up **_with_** Janet,' the voice said.

This time Jack felt the voice was coming from within him. A voice that sounded all **_too_** familiar. Ever so slowly, Jack made his way back towards the mirror. He inched his face forward until he saw the reflection again.

"_Jacob?_"

'Sel, you feeling ok?'

'Shit! How much **_did_** I drink last night?' he asked himself, turning away from the mirror and rubbing a hand over his face.

'**_Too_** much. You damn near ruined our evening with Janet,' Jacob answered angrily.

Jack's mind was suddenly bombarded with images of Janet totally naked from Jacob's perspective. Jack squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see them. That was the whole point of coming into the bathroom. Only closing his eyes didn't help any. The images were within his mind and he saw them in complete, vivid detail. Plus, the images were accompanied by…sensations…feelings that Jacob had for Janet. Strong feelings. Some of them were quite…passionate.

'Great…the guy's in love with her!' Jack scoffed to himself.

'Of course I'm in love with her. Selmak, what's wrong with you?'

Jack remained silent trying not to think of anything as Jacob seemed to hear everything Jack was thinking. Plus, he didn't know why Jacob was calling him Selmak! And what the hell was **_he_** doing with Janet? Aside from the obvious fact that they're doing the horizontal mambo, when did they even hook up? Jacob didn't even seem Janet's type. Not that Jack cared much of what Jacob's been doing lately. Jack had been avoiding him whenever possible to avoid a confrontation with Selmak.

'Fine, be a brat,' Jacob harrumphed and Jack's mind exploded at the thought of anyone calling **_Selmak_** of the **_Tok'ra_** a **_B-R-A-T_** and living to get away with it! 'Can I have control of my body back now?'

Jack stiffened! **_Control_**? Shit, Jack had no idea what the hell was going on? If anything, he felt totally out of control at the moment. Out of control and very confused. It seemed like the entire universe just turned upside down on him. Or maybe this was one of those alternate reality situations.

'Selmak, **_please_**. If you're going to pull your silent act on me at least give me my body back,' Jacob insisted.

Not knowing what to do, Jack wished for Jacob to have his body back. A part of him was still convinced this was all a bad dream because the Janet he knew would **_never_** go out with Jacob. Or at least the Janet he thought he knew.

Plus, no one, not even Jacob, would refer to Jack as Selmak. Never in a hundred million…billion years! And **_especially_** not after the fight they had yesterday.

"Thanks," Jacob smiled, inspecting his face in the mirror. Then he noticed the sink full of cold water. Jack held his breath. "Selmak, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. You are not to attempt to shave my face. Especially not in cold water."

Jack stayed quiet still hoping and praying he would wake up soon but knowing that was never going to happen. He watched as Jacob washed up in steaming hot water and brushed his teeth. The man whistled the entire song 'Off into the Wild Blue Yonder' in his head while doing so. Thankfully Jacob could carry a tune as Jack didn't know if he would be able to tolerate it if the man couldn't.

Then Jacob headed out of the sanctuary of the bathroom. Jack instinctively closed his eyes. He didn't to see Janet again as the images of her naked were still etched upon his mind no matter how much he tried to erase them. He still couldn't believe she was with Jacob **_and_** Selmak.

"Janet, what's wrong?" Jacob asked.

"Ask **_her_**!"

'Sel…what did you do?' Jacob growled within his mind.

Jack did his best to not laugh. Selmak was **_female_**? What a hoot! No wonder Jack got punched in the face yesterday. Women were always more sensitive then men. Ok, whatever happened, maybe it was worth it just to find out that little fact. Plus, this gave Jack more ammo for his next confrontation with Selmak. Or more importantly the next conversation he had with **_Jacob_**. Jacob Carter was a man's man with a female snake in his head. Jack wasn't going to be able to resist the bombardment of jokes!

"I'm sorry, Janet," Jacob sighed. "She's giving me the silent treatment."

"Well, I hope she's going to apologize."

"She will…I promise," Jacob cooed, snuggling up against Janet. "I think she's still upset about Jack calling her a snake and goading her into throwing a few punches his way. She knows better than to sink to Jack's level."

"Maybe we could bring her out of her foul mood?"

"We could try," he whispered, before kissing Janet deeply.

Jack tried to squeeze his eyes shut even tighter. He didn't want to accidentally get a glimpse of **_anything_**. The very thought Janet with Jacob…was like…was like…it was disgusting…like walking in on one's parents doing it. Good God…the man was old enough to be her father as she was the same age as Carter.

"She's like a rock back there," Janet said, her fingers kneading the back of Jacob's neck where somehow Jack could feel them.

Whatever she was doing…it felt good! All kinds of sensations started happening. Jack even had this overwhelming feeling that was…rather distinctly…erotic. Only it was like **_nothing_** he had ever felt before.

"I think she's starting to relax," Jacob whispered.

Even though Jack's eyes were still closed, he could hear everything. Janet and Jacob were still in the early stage of foreplay, content with kissing and caressing each other. They spoke softly of their love for each other. And suddenly Jack felt like he was intruding.

Despite, the fact that he thought the idea of Janet and Jacob was...disgusting, here were two people so very much in love with each other. Everything Jacob said and felt, Jack heard in his mind and felt. It was bizarre. Though Jacob was in total control, Jack wasn't exactly a passenger. Everything Jacob felt as Janet kissed and caressed him was transferred through to Jack as well.

Regardless of how these two hooked up, Jack instinctively knew their love for each other was true. But that feeling of intruding was more than enough for Jack to pull back and separate himself enough that he was now only a mere observer. Somehow he was even able to pull back even more, disconnecting himself from Jacob as it were. There are times when it's good to be the fly on the wall. Jacob and Janet making love to each other was not one of them.

Alone with his own thoughts, Jack suddenly realized he had a bigger problem than he had when he first woke up. One, how did he end up in Jacob's head? And two, how the hell does he get back to his own body? In fact…where the hell was his body?

And…where the hell was Selmak?


	4. Chapter 4

The alarm was continuously beeping. And it was obvious that Selmak was the only one who heard it as no one else had the decency to turn it off yet. With no sign that Jacob or Janet were waking, Selmak reached and searched for the alarm clock not even bothering to open her eyes as she knew exactly were it was.

Or where she thought it was.

It took a moment but her hand finally found it. Only then she couldn't find the damn snooze button or the off switch. She then remembered that Janet mentioned she had bought a new clock. Frustrated and angry, Selmak sat up and yanked the cord from the back of the clock. Jacob could afford to buy Janet a new one.

Silence at last!

Selmak snuggled back under the covers and fell back asleep. She knew that whenever Jacob stayed over at Janet's house those two enjoyed waking each other up. Selmak wasn't at all surprised that neither of them had woken up yet as last night's intimacies were exhausting even for a symbiote.

Both she and Jacob, especially Jacob, missed Janet. They hadn't seen Janet all week because she was sick with the flu. They wanted her to have a chance to get better in time for their weekend getaway. And the only way Janet could heal quickly was with Jacob and Selmak out of the way.

Of course, Janet missed them just as much. She was rather playful and aggressive with them. The last thing Selmak had heard was Jacob whispering his affections to Janet. Content and satiated, Selmak had immediately fallen asleep. Or more accurately, the evening's activities in combination with the large amount of wine she and Jacob drank had caused her to pass out.

Normally, Selmak would never have consumed such large quantities of alcohol like she'd done last night. But after yesterday's climatic blow up with Jack O'Neill she figured…what the hell. She **_really_** needed a drink. It didn't matter that Jacob had stood up for her or that Janet was ready to castrate O'Neill on her behalf. Selmak simply felt…hurt and rejected…and truly alone as she was no longer with her kind any more.

The past few weeks had been stressful. Trying to blend in with the Tau'ri had proved more difficult than she had imagined. Jacob helped to guide her as much as possible as she had done with him when he first joined the Tok'ra. Selmak found it both ironic and depressing to be in such a position. She never liked taking orders. Least of all from a man who was a tiny fraction of her age…about 2.95 percent of her age to be exact.

But it really wasn't the taking orders that bothered her. She had been called many things during her lifespan but for someone that she considered a friend to call her a snake and to top that by saying that she was arrogant **_really_** hurt. She knew O'Neill could be juvenile at times and she was accustomed to him using the snake term when referring to Goa'uld symbiotes. However, she was not prepared for him to turn against **_her_**. The first time she thought it was in jest as O'Neill liked to joke around a lot. But the name calling continued and grew more insulting until finally yesterday she just couldn't take anymore of it.

She **_had_** to defend herself. Thus, she had stooped to Jack's level and threw a punch. Well, she threw several. The first blow had done the most damage. And of course, Jack threw an equally damaging blow back. Jacob wasn't too happy about the welt on his forehead. Selmak made it a point to heal it quickly before they arrived at Janet's house so fewer questions would be asked.

Then when Selmak thought she could feel no worse, Daniel had gone and accused her of being patronizing. **_Her!_** One would have thought that saving Jackson's butt a few times, he might be just a **_little_** appreciative of her. You know maybe he'd even defend her. But **_no_**…he thought she was arrogant, pompous, patronizing! What else did he think of her? What did they all actually think of her?

She couldn't take it. Nothing could console her so hid from the outside world. She felt bad for being treated like a Goa'uld by Jack and she felt worse for resorting to physical violence. And she knew drinking wouldn't resolve anything but something needed to dull the pain. At least Jacob and Janet were understanding and had stopped discussing the Jack incident with Selmak. They did try and include her in their other conversations and love play last night. They had made enough of an effort that guilt made Selmak come fore. She apologized to both of them, enjoyed their intimate pleasures and then retreated just before passing out.

A phone rang.

Again, Selmak was awakened but her host and their lover was not. Selmak ignored the phone knowing it would eventually stop ringing. A few moments after it stopped a cell phone rang.

'What does a girl have to do to get some sleep around here!' she muttered in her mind as she sat up, flinging the covers off. 'What the…'

At first glance, Selmak didn't recognize anything in the bedroom. Even the bed covers were different from the ones she and Jacob covered up with last night. And more importantly, Selmak was in bed **_alone_**. Janet was gone and the vacant side of the bed looked like it had not been slept in.

'Jacob, did you and Janet have a fight after I fell asleep?' she asked, noting that the cell phone finally stopped ringing now. 'And when did you start wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt to bed?'

Selmak waited for a reply.

'**JACOB!**' she shouted at him from within her mind.

Still, no response.

In fact, Selmak realized it was like her host wasn't even there. She couldn't feel his biorhythms. Shit, she couldn't even feel her own except for the pounding in her head. As more of her external senses awakened, her eyes were burning somewhat and she had this nasty taste in her mouth.

Last time she had that taste was the day after St. Patrick's Day. Jacob had been drinking large quantities of green beer the entire evening. At the time, Selmak couldn't understand why he insisted on the green beer when it tasted exactly the same as the regular colored beer. He simply said it was tradition and told her to enjoy herself. Which she did as she didn't complain one bit about Jacob **_not_** wearing green! Some very lovely ladies had pinched his ass on a number of occasions. Yes, even though she was blended with a cranky, stubborn man, he at least still had sex appeal! This was an incredible ego boost for both of them. Jacob even had to politely decline a few offers as he was officially off the market having committed to Janet as his girlfriend a month prior.

Only…Jacob and Janet were drinking wine last night and Selmak drank more than enough for the three of them put together. She was able to prevent Jacob from feeling the effects from what she had drank, only allowing the wine he had drank to affect him. But that still didn't explain that nasty beer taste in her mouth.

Nor does any of this explain why she woke up in a strange bedroom, why her host wasn't communicating with her and why she couldn't get rid of her hammering headache. Wanting to get to the bottom of the matter, Selmak moved to get up.

'Ow!' she thought to herself, feeling a dull ache in the knees. 'What's going on? Jacob doesn't have bad knees. He never did until his arthritis kicked in. Then I took care of that.'

Selmak gingerly flexed one leg, then the other. The second knee popped when she did so. Deciding that was enough exercise, she got up, headed for an open door and stepped out into the hallway.

Nothing there was familiar. Nor was much of the rest of the house. It was tidy and clean though as she walked through the rooms. She ended up in the kitchen and opened the refrigerator thinking maybe that some cold water would help with the nasty taste in her mouth.

Only there was no water in the fridge. There were about four bottles of Guinness, several box containers of Chinese takeout, and a couple of Tupperware containers that looked like they were growing some kind of fungus inside. And there was an odor emanating from something in the fridge. Probably from one of the Chinese takeout containers.

The smell was repulsive so Selmak closed the fridge. Her headache wasn't getting any better nor was the taste in her mouth. From the memories of her host she remembered that such ailments had remedies in the bathroom medicine cabinet. There was a door in the bedroom that looked like it belonged to a bathroom so Selmak headed back there.

After turning on the light to the bathroom, she was aghast at the state of disarray it was in. What she assumed were dirty clothes were on the floor, the hand towel was in the sink, the bath towel was draped over the shower curtain rod, and a single sheet of toilet paper hung from the depleted roll. There was however an unopened package of toilet paper on top of the toilet tank. However, the toilet seat was up.

That was odd how the bathroom was a mess when the rest of the house…with the exception of the refrigerator…was well kept.

Ok, forget the fact that Selmak didn't recognize anything for a moment. Her host, Jacob Carter, was a gentleman and a courteous guest in anyone's home. His wife had trained him well as he never left the toilet seat in the upright position. Nor did he leave things in such a mess. If anything, Jacob was a tad anal about keeping the place clean and spotless.

Not wanting her host to have his reputation tainted, Selmak quickly set out to straighten up the bathroom. To be safe, she gathered all clothing articles including the towels. At least the mess was kept to the bathroom and it was easy to find the laundry hamper in the bedroom. However, she was at a loss as to where the clean towels might be.

Selmak scratched the top her of head trying to figure out again just what the hell was going on and why she couldn't figure out where she was.

'What the…!'

There was hair! **_Hair_** on top of Jacob's head!

What the hell was hair doing on the top of Jacob's head? She never wanted him to wear a hairpiece because she loved him just the way he was…a bald grouch. Selmak pulled on it…hard thinking it was fake.

"OW!"

Ok, so it wasn't fake. Selmak should have known better. Jacob would never wear a hairpiece. The man was quite comfortable with his baldness. He never once asked Selmak if she could take care of it for him. Not that she could; after all, a symbiote could only do so much for their human host. And really, hair was a minor cosmetic issue rather than a life and death disease such as cancer.

Selmak moved back into the bathroom.

"AAHH!" she shouted when she saw her reflection in the mirror.

The image reflected was not Jacob. It was Jack!

Selmak opened and closed the medicine cabinet. The image was still Jack's.

This was…impossible! Or it had to be a bad dream. There was no way in Netu she would blend with Jack. Not even if he was a last resort. Selmak would rather die first than blend with a man who had no desire what so ever to have a snake in his head.

It had to be a dream. **_Had_** to be.

Selmak turned the water on and splashed cold water on her face. Her hands felt the bristly stubble on her face and her nose hurt when she rubbed it. Looking closely in the mirror she could see the short stubble, the bruise on the bridge of the nose and the purplish discoloration underneath her eyes.

If this was a dream why was she in pain? Why was she unable to heal her host or even feel his biorhythms? And the stubble…Selmak was able to control a host's metabolism among other things, including hair growth. Jacob only had to shave once or twice a week once she had blended with him.

Her mind worked to answer her own questions as she continued to stare at the reflection. She went over everything she had done yesterday with Jacob, including the fight with Jack. From there Janet had called and Jacob had raced over to her house. He had really missed her. Selmak normally would have teased him for acting like a horny teenager but she wasn't in the mood at the time.

Instead, Selmak remained quiet as Jacob had spent some cuddle time with Janet on the living room couch listening to music and telling her about what had happened with Jack. Both Janet and Jacob tried talking to Selmak, tried consoling her, and even promised to seek some form of revenge on her behalf. But still Selmak remained silent.

After that, Jacob had made dinner and Selmak drank lots of wine. Her host had done nothing to stop her. But Janet and Jacob continued to reach out to Selmak. Janet had magic fingers that were hard to ignore when they massaged the back of Jacob's neck where Selmak lay. They had drawn Selmak out of her shell and she participated in the act of making love…the three of them becoming one for a few hours until they finally fell asleep.

Then Selmak woke here. It didn't make any kind of logical sense for her to be here where her knees had a dull ache, her mouth had a terrible taste, she had a pounding headache, stubble and a battered face.

"Oh…my…" she gasped, covering her mouth.

It suddenly dawned on Selmak. She wasn't in Jack. No way, not ever! She **_was_** Jack! That was the **_only_** logical explanation. Even if she had blended with him she would have been able to keep the stubble from growing, she would have been able to take care of the headache, the pain in the knees, the nose, and the disgusting taste in her mouth, even while sleeping.

"Crap!" she exclaimed, scrambling out of the bathroom.

Selmak hurried to the phone and desperately dialed a number. If she was Jack… that meant that Jack was…


	5. Chapter 5

Jacob let out a heavy sigh when his cell phone rang. He glanced over towards it, contemplating for about two seconds on whether or not he was going to answer it. He didn't move. He was quite content where he was with Janet comfortably draped across his chest and her head nestled just beneath his chin, his hand affectionately caressed her soft back. Her slow, deep breathing and warm body felt therapeutic and soothing to him as he watched her sleep.

The week had passed by too slowly without seeing Janet. Jacob knew staying away was for the best because she was very sick. But he hadn't expected that he would miss her so much. In the beginning of their relationship the time between seeing each other had been even longer because he was living with the Tok'ra and he had missed her then but not as much as he did this time. Then again, he shouldn't have been surprised. His love for her had grown stronger as the months passed by and as their relationship grew. He was prepared to take their relationship to the next level and hoped that she was too.

The ringing stopped. Jacob closed his eyes and smiled. Good, he didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. There was still a few minutes before it was time to get up and he wanted to enjoy this moment with Janet as long as possible. However, the silence was short-lived as his cell phone started ringing again.

This time he groaned to himself. He **_really_** didn't want to move or to even move Janet but he had to answer the phone on the chance that it was the SGC calling him. Only George or Sam would call him more than once on his cell phone. And only if it was very important. Although Jacob prayed it wasn't them for he was very much looking forward to the long weekend getaway with Janet.

It was a very special weekend to him and Selmak and hopefully to Janet as well. Jacob was grateful that George gave him the time off on such short notice. Of course, Jacob didn't tell George why nor did he mention anything about his time off coinciding with Janet's time off. Besides, George knew something was up. How could he not know with the rumors going around the base? George simply gave Jacob one of those Texas sized smirks of his and chose not to question Jacob.

"Sorry," Jacob whispered, gently moving Janet aside.

She mumbled something but was still sleeping. Jacob quickly covered her up then headed across the room. His pants were neatly folded on the dresser and his cell phone was in the front right pocket, exactly where he had left it.

"This is Carter," he spoke softly.

"_Jacob, thank Egeria! It took you long enough to answer your phone. Are you alright?_"

Jacob felt Selmak instantly stiffen at the sound of Jack's voice. This of course put Jacob on the defensive, as he didn't appreciate the way Jack had treated Selmak yesterday. Plus, Jacob was a very puzzled as to why in Jack was asking him such a question when yesterday he tried to knock Jacob's head off? Also, why did Jack mention **_Egeria_** and how the hell did **_he_** get a hold of Jacob's cell number?

"I'm fine. Maybe I should be asking you the same question, **_Jack_**."

"_I'm not Jack! I'm **Selmak**_!"

Jacob wasn't sure, but he thought he felt Selmak…trembling slightly at the back of his neck. Whenever she did that he always got a queasy feeling in his gut like the one he had now. But it didn't distract Jacob from the anger he felt. If anything it only reinforced it.

"If you're trying to be funny, you should know I'm not laughing!" Jacob growled, attempting to keep his voice down so as not to wake Janet. Knowing he may not be able to be quiet he headed out into the hallway, closing the bedroom door. "The way you treated Selmak yesterday was unbelievably rude! I had a hell of a time calming…"

"_Jacob! I'm not joking! I **am** Selmak!_"

Jacob narrowed his eyes. He wasn't in the mood for this kind of game at the moment. And he certainly wasn't going to let Jack ruin this weekend.

"**Knock it off! It's not funny! I don't have anything to say to you until you apologize to Selmak!**" Jacob roared and then snapped his phone shut, severing the connection.

He turned it off too. He didn't want Jack calling back and there was no risk of him calling Janet's house. No one really knew of Jacob's relationship with Janet. Or at least he and Janet tried to keep it a secret. Yet, he wasn't totally oblivious to the rumors going around the SGC. There wasn't much he could do about them once they started. Besides, it wasn't like anyone could get through to Janet's house anyway for Jacob had discretely unplugged her phone last night and turned her cell phone off so his romantic evening with her wouldn't be disturbed.

After opening the door he saw that Janet was yawning and stretching and obviously awake. Crap. He didn't mean to wake her up with his shouting. And he certainly didn't want to start their getaway on such a sour note.

"You sounded so angry. Everything ok?" Janet asked.

"Everything's fine," he replied, moving slowly into the room.

He headed to the dresser, setting his phone down on his pants. His hand lingered on the cell as he tried to figure out why Jack called him in the first place.

"Jacob, come over here," she requested, interrupting his thoughts.

Of course she **_had_** to use that sultry tone of hers that he could never resist. Only this time her tone didn't elicit the response it normally did out of him. He at least did as she had asked. He sat down on the bed beside her and stared down at her. His stomach fluttered as it had done on almost every occasion when their eyes locked onto each other.

"You sure everything's ok?" she worriedly asked, reaching up and tenderly touching his face.

"I don't know," he sighed, his hand affectionately pushed her hair back, taking in her beauty as he enjoyed doing as often as he could.

He could still clearly remember that day nearly ten months ago when he had nervously asked her out for a date and how he had fully expected her to laugh at him for daring to ask such a thing. Only Janet hadn't laugh. She had graciously accepted his invitation and thoroughly enjoyed their evening at the Opera. Looking at her now, he still couldn't believe she was **_his_** girlfriend.

She was **_so_** beautiful and he was…well he was no prize. Selmak told him he more than made up for his rugged looks with his charm and sense of humor. She even pointed out that he was an intelligent gentleman and not a bumbling baboon when it came to treating a woman right. And Janet wasn't the kind of person to judge a book by its cover or a lover by their looks. Janet had even admitted that his invitation and his taste in music surprised her. From then on she had been hooked and wanted to discover more about him and Selmak.

And now…

"Selmak still not talking to you?" she asked, drawing him out of his reverie.

Now, she knew him and Selmak well…very well. At times, it was like she knew what Jacob was thinking for she knew exactly what to do or say to him. He hadn't realized how much he missed that closeness in a relationship with a woman until he was with Janet. It had been about twenty-six years since Allison's death and the last time he was **_that_** close to a woman.

"Not a peep," he frowned. "Every time I reach out to her I get this image of a brick wall. It's blocking her thoughts and feelings from me. And it's not like Selmak to do such a thing. She usually hangs up the 'DND' sign on a large wooden door."

"After what you told me happened with Jack I don't blame her for being upset."

"That's just it. She was upset with **_him_**. I was defending her. She only pulls this routine when she's upset with me or after **_I've_** thoroughly pissed her off. And she has **_never_** pulled her silent act when we're with you."

"The little nymph!" Janet commented, making Jacob laugh.

"Look who's talking," he grinned, leaning down and nuzzling his nose against her. "And I was worried the two of you would never get along when we started dating!"

"And why wouldn't we? We're both strong willed, intelligent, feisty women."

"Whose goal in life is to drive me insane!" he laughed, tickling her.

Janet giggled wildly. He feebly attempted to block her hands as she reached for that ticklish spot on his abdomen. He couldn't help but laugh heartily. Only she and Sam's mother knew just where to tickle him. Allison Carter and Janet Fraiser were the only two women in the entire universe that knew Jacob was ticklish. He had never let any other woman know, not even the few he had been intimate with long after Allison had died. The woman had to be special to his heart to know that secret as it involved a certain level of trust.

Her arms pulled him down as her mouth covered his. Her hand gently moved to the back of his neck. She always knew exactly how to get a response from him or from Selmak.

Yes, Janet was a very special lady to Jacob and to Selmak.

"Mmm," he kissed then deliberately pulled his face away from hers. "As much as you are tempting me, we don't have time. We'll miss our flight. We have just enough time to shower and grab a bite to eat."

"Can we at least shower together?" she asked with that devilish grin of hers.

"For a lady who just got over the flu, you sure are very energetic. You especially were last night!" he exclaimed.

"All I did was rest in bed all week…I was storing energy for this weekend! So…can we shower together? I'll behave, I promise."

Jacob made a quick glance at the clock. Then he looked at her angelic face with an almost fiendish smile on it. Who was he kidding, he couldn't resist. And he hoped he never would be able to.

"Ok!" he said, yanking the covers away. "Just don't try anything lady. I know you too well."

"As I know you," she smirked, making Jacob roll his eyes.

"Just remember we don't have much time," he said, taking hold of her hand and helping her off the bed.

'Selmak?' he called to her through their mental connection as he led Janet into the bathroom. 'Selmak, you've been very quiet all morning. I even felt you withdraw when Janet and I made love a little while ago. Selmak?'

No answer. She was there. It wasn't like she could go anywhere. But Jacob was beginning to get worried about her.

'Sel, I know you're awake and if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine. I'm not giving up on you. Just so you know we're taking a shower! I know it's not your favorite. I promise, when we get to the hotel we'll take a long soak in the Jacuzzi, as I know you like hot baths. I'm sure we can even convince Janet to give us a nice massage too. Sel?'

Again, he only got the brick wall image in his mind when he reached out to her. She even felt like a brick back there, giving him stiff neck.

"Maybe she'll come out of her shell when we get away for the weekend," Janet cooed, pulling him into the hot water with her.

"I hope so," he frowned, attempting to reach out to Selmak again.

He **_needed_** Selmak to come out of her shell. This weekend was for the **_three_** of them. It would be pointless if Selmak didn't participate. After all, it was partially her idea. Plus, she was an active participant in the relationship. In the beginning, Jacob didn't think such a thing would work out…the two of them loving one woman. He especially had his reservations because Selmak's personality was predominately female. He even thought she might get jealous. And he certainly had his reservations about performing such an intimate act like making love with a woman with Selmak having a front row seat.

However, his fears were for nothing. Through their years together and though she remained adamant about her femininity, Selmak had learned to see a women through Jacob's eyes. Of course it helped that he was a gentleman, never letting his eyes stray to far over certain parts of a woman's anatomy. And he kept any lustful thoughts (which weren't many, and now only focused on one woman) that he had about beautiful women to himself afraid Selmak might neuter him. Jacob may be a man but he also held a great deal of respect for the opposite sex and Selmak respected him for that.

Thus, when Jacob realized he was attracted to Janet Selmak did nothing to stop him from pursuing a relationship. Nor was she jealous at all. If anything she encouraged him…relentlessly. Their only fear was that Janet wouldn't accept the both of them. Which was not the case. Janet loved them both and relished the affection she received from both of them.

Jacob learned that it was much easier than he thought as his love for Janet was also Selmak's love for Janet. Though they were two individuals in one body, they were one in expressing their love to such a wonderful woman. Plus, during such intimate moments with Janet, when Jacob and Selmak worked together, he found it rather beneficial to have that woman's point of view. Not to mention having a symbiote did enhance the sensations he felt and did wonders for his performance. He even learned to enjoy Selmak's purring during such passionate moments with Janet

But this morning, when he made love with Janet it was like Selmak wasn't there. He actually missed her purring and that warm, tingly sensation he felt at the back of his neck and down his spine. He even felt a little guilty because Selmak didn't participate.

'Selmak…please, talk to me,' he pleaded, reaching to her hoping she could feel that he desperately needed her.

"Jacob," Janet called, getting his total attention with her pleasant voice. The palm of her hand even felt pleasant as it rested tenderly against the side of his face. Her soft brown eyes filled with such affection as she looked up at him. "You can't force a lady. Selmak will be ready when **_she's_** ready."

Jacob warmly smiled at her, pulling her closer, "I'm sure you're right."


	6. Chapter 6

During the drive to the airport, Jack had figured out that this wasn't one of those alternate reality situations. From what his mind had been able to recall from having to endure Major Carter's long winded techno babble explanations, if this was an alternate reality he would at least still be in his own body. Anyway, this situation was far more bizarre like…like he had slipped into the Twilight Zone.

For Pete's sake, he's inside Jacob Carter's head! Not even Major Carter could have calculated that one. There was no way that Daniel would have anything like it in those books of his. And Jack heard his **_own_** voice over the phone. Yeah, that was his voice claiming to be Selmak. Jack's mind just couldn't fathom such a thing ever spewing from his lips, not even as a joke.

But after his mind got over the shock it suddenly dawned on him what had happened. Somehow he and Selmak switched bodies. Now, Jack was experienced with such a situation having swapped bodies with Teal'c before. The scariest part about that had been when Teal'c had nearly shaved all of Jack's precious hair off. But in that case, Jack was Teal'c **_not_** Junior! **_And_** he didn't have to deal with someone else's thoughts or emotions constantly like he has had to endure this time around.

It had been mind numbing dealing with Jacob's thoughts as he had showered with Janet. Thankfully Jacob had been in enough control to not let Janet get out of hand in the shower, as Jack hadn't been sure how much more he could take. Though he could strongly feel just how much Jacob had wanted to make love to Janet again in her bed. Jacob's restraint had been **_great_**. Not to mention his stamina had been impressive when making love with Janet even though he was only a **_few_** years older than Jack. Jack had actually heard Jacob's internal debate whether to change their flight or not.

This wasn't lust towards this woman. No, it was nothing like that at all. Jacob **_loved_** Janet deeply. It was pure, unconditional love. And Jack could **_feel_** every bit of it; it was so overwhelming, how could he not! Jacob's love for Janet was present in every word, every gesture, every look and every gentle touch towards her. It spread through every fiber of the man's being. And from what Jack could see, Janet reciprocated that love.

It was actually a very peaceful and tranquil feeling that Jack had seeing that with all there was out there in the universe these two people were able to come together to share something truly wonderful. For a soldier like Jack, this was what they were fighting for. Not just for their freedom from the Goa'uld. But the freedom to live and love.

Then there was the guilt Jack felt each time Jacob reached out to him…to Selmak. Jack could feel the exceedingly deep affection that Jacob had towards Selmak. It was **_bizarre_**. Jacob didn't have to say the words. Jack could simply sense them through his connection with Jacob. But of course they would be affectionate. It was inevitable when having such an intimate, mind sharing relationship. Yes, the old man loved the even older…possibly **_ancient_** snake in his head. She must reciprocate that love or else Jacob wouldn't have been so protective of her and it would explain why Jacob has repeatedly tried hard to get Selmak to simply talk to him.

So, this is what a true blending was **_supposed_** to be like.

Jack never knew that because Kanan never extended himself the way Selmak obviously had done with Jacob. The host was supposed to care for the symbiote and vice versa. They were supposed to love each other enough to take care of each other. That sounded far too much like being married but without the benefits of sex. Actually, from what Jack understood now, it was **_worse_** than marriage. At least the husband or the wife could leave the room and slam a door before, during or after a heated argument. A host and symbiote were stuck with each other…literally!

And that's what Jack was…he was stuck. He couldn't move. Well, he could wiggle but that only caused Jacob to have a sick feeling in his stomach. There was no way he could leave Jacob because there was no where to go. Jack didn't want to cause Jacob anymore harm than he already had. It was bad enough that Jacob was worried about Selmak.

That's where Jack felt so guilty. Though his anger had been directed solely at Selmak, Jacob had been affected by it as well. A host and symbiote who have truly blended **_are_** one. Which meant what happens to one happens to the other. So, each and every time Jack got spiteful with Selmak meant he got nasty with his good friend Jacob.

But how the hell was Jack going to convince Jacob he wasn't Selmak? Shit, how the hell was Jack even going to get back to his own body? First of all, the state of mind Jacob was in at the moment didn't bode well for Jack. While Jacob's front thoughts were primarily focused on Janet, lurking closely behind them was his red hot anger towards Jack for making Selmak feel so bad, as evident by the brusque telephone conversation earlier. Second, if Selmak couldn't convince Jacob, **_Jack_** sure as hell didn't even have a chance.

On the other hand, Selmak had figured out about the body switch which meant that she would be able to figure away to put things right! After all, she was **_way_** smarter than Jack was or will ever be. And she had her own body at the moment and could do whatever she wanted which hopefully meant she was working on a solution.

Correction, she had her **_Jack's_** body and could do whatever she wanted...

**_Crap!_** Jack didn't even want to think about the ramifications of that! After all, hell hath nor fury like a woman's scorn or something like that. And Jack knew that Selmak was pissed off at him. But if she did any physical harm to his body she would be doing it to herself, right? She wouldn't do anything like that to get at Jack. That's just so beneath her. Or at least that's what Jack gathered from Jacob's thoughts.

Whew, Jack was a little worried there for a moment!

Ok, so all Jack had to do was lie low until Selmak figured out how to get them back in their proper bodies. Piece of cake! He could do that no problem. Jack could just keep doing what he's been doing by isolating himself from Jacob as much as possible.

There was just one problem with that…**_Janet_**.

"She doesn't feel like a rock back there anymore," Janet whispered, her fingers gently kneading the back of Jacob's neck.

Whatever Janet was doing felt a hundred times better than any back rub Jack ever had in his entire life! A part of him wanted her to stop. It was only a small part of him. The other part instinctively relaxed as the tenseness that had enveloped him started to fade.

"You were right," Jacob spoke softly into Janet's ear. "I think she's starting to feel better. I could sense she's…more relaxed. Even a little…_happy_."

"Good, now maybe she can tell me what you both are up to," Janet smirked, pulling her hand away.

Jack was mildly disappointed but somewhat content as he listened to their conversation.

"We're not up to anything," Jacob replied.

Of course Jack could sense differently. This weekend's getaway was very important to Jacob, like something special was going to take place. That was the reason why he had been so adamant about pulling Selmak out of her shell. She was an important part of what was to take place this weekend.

"Then why the need to get away?" Janet asked.

"Janet, it's practically winter here in Colorado, who in their right mind would turn down a few days in Hawaii?" Jacob countered.

Janet just looked at Jacob. Jack had seen that kind of look in a woman's face before. Women were born with the ability to sniff out many forms of bullshit! They could even detect it before the man even opened his mouth. Whatever line of bull Jacob was handing to Janet wasn't bad for Jack could sense the joy and anticipation in Jacob. And from the sparkle in Janet's eyes, Jack had a sense that she had some idea of what it was.

Funny, Janet has the same look that Sara had right before Jack asked her to marry him.

'Oh – my – God! Jake, you dog! You're going to pop the big question!' Jack exclaimed as the very reason for the weekend just came to him.

'Of course, I'm going to ask. It was your idea,' Jacob shot back at Jack, who momentarily forgot that Jacob could hear what he was thinking. 'And since when am I a dog? I have been a perfect gentleman while courting Janet.'

'It's just an expression I picked up somewhere,' Jack mumbled.

Jacob let out a heavy sigh. Jack knew this wasn't the end of the conversation. He also knew he couldn't just turn tail and hide like he had done before. Jacob seemed…determined to not let that happen.

"Janet, excuse me, I'm going to the restroom," Jacob said. "They won't be calling our flight for another fifteen minutes."

"You feeling ok?" she asked her hand sliding affectionately over his forehead and down the side of his face. "You feel a little warm."

"I'm fine," he smiled, holding her hand against his cheek. "Selmak's just stewing in there, that's all."

"Ok. Be here when you get back."

Jacob kissed her cheek then got up and headed to the men's restroom. And Jack suddenly felt like he was five years old again, standing before his father for a long lecture. He wasn't disappointed.

'Selmak, what has gotten into you?' Jacob started, after he went to the furthest sink and turned the water on. He splashed cold water over his face. 'We've planned on this weekend with Janet for a month and now you start acting like a child! This was your idea! I admit that I would eventually have asked Janet to marry me, but you said, and I quote, Why wait? You love the woman that much! '

'Sorry,' was all Jack could think to say. He figured the less said the better.

Again, Jacob sighed. Jack could feel the man's frustration and his anger was beginning to rise. But again like before, the anger was directed towards Jack…the Jack that Jacob knew existed. Jacob had no idea the switch had taken place and thus had no reason to doubt he wasn't talking to Selmak.

'Selmak, it's pointless to ask Janet if you're not with me on this!' Jacob snapped. 'We're a team remember? We live as one…we love as one. And we both are asking Janet to be a part of our lives as she has openly accepted both of us into hers.'

'Jacob, I'm sorry. I know how special Janet is to you…to us,' Jack said, not even knowing if what he said made any kind of sense. 'It's just that…'

'Just what?' Jacob expectantly asked.

Ok, time to test Jacob's bullshit detector.

'I'm just still pretty damn upset about Jack calling me a snake!' Jack said then held his breath.

'Look, I'll deal with Jack when we get back,' Jacob said, his tone softening, his anger fading. 'Let's enjoy our weekend. Deal?'

'_Deal_!' Jack said in relief.

'Selmak, one more question.'

Jack cringed. He thought he was in the clear.

'Is it hot in here or is it just me?'

'It's a bit warm in here,' Jack lied to pacify Jacob because Jack had no idea how to gage if the room was warm or not.

'You sure? I'm feeling a bit **_too_** warm.'

'Jacob, its nerves. You're excited and scared about asking Janet the big question, that's all,' Jack answered, having experienced something like it when he had asked Sara to marry him.

'Of course…you're right,' Jacob sighed, then dried his hands and face.

Whew! Jack was glad that was over. Jacob bought it and seemed in better spirits as he headed back to Janet. They walked hand in hand as they boarded their flight.

Maybe Jack was going to pull this off. After all, lying low in Hawaii for a few days wasn't really that bad of an idea! He wondered if Jacob packed the sunscreen.

Janet suddenly giggled at something Jacob said after they had buckled their seat belts. Jack just rolled his eyes. Who was he kidding? They probably weren't going to need the sunscreen!


	7. Chapter 7

After calling Jacob back and getting his voicemail, Selmak realized he had turned his phone off. It was no use in trying again. Plus, she knew she couldn't call Janet's cell or home phone as Jacob unplugged the main line and she was certain Janet turned her cell off so nothing would disturb their romantic evening.

And there was no point in going over to Janet's house he wouldn't believe a word she said. It would be exceedingly difficult to argue the fact that she **_wasn't_** Jack O'Neill to anyone, especially Jacob, when all anyone would see was Jack and hear Jack's voice. With Jacob already on the defensive the task was insurmountable at this point and thus pointless for Selmak to even try.

She knew how protective Jacob was towards those he cared about, especially **_her_**. She had always been very touched by how protective he was of her and not just because he felt it was his duty as her host but because he regarded her as a friend, albeit a friend who has intimate knowledge of his life. But still, he considered Selmak a true friend. And he would gladly have given Jack a broken nose or a split lip on her behalf.

Besides, Selmak knew where to find Jacob when necessary. From the anger in his voice she knew that he had no idea she had switched places with Jack. So, the best thing she could do is keep her distance for the time being. She needed to calm down herself so she could figure things out.

It was going to be hard. Her mind was distracted. Other than the fact that she was worried about Jacob and what Jack might **_accidentally_** do to him, she felt bad for not being with Jacob and Janet. Selmak loved Janet as much as Jacob did and she had so been looking forward to their weekend in Hawaii. After all, it was mainly her idea. If she hadn't given Jacob the proverbial 'kick in the ass' the man might have taken a millennium to ask Janet to marry him.

"Being human is so inconvenient," she grumbled rubbing her temples, feeling the pounding in her head increase as she tried to concentrate.

Actually, being human was **_really_** a bit of an inconvenience. Instead of just being able to heal herself, Selmak **_had_** to take those aspirin tablets to get rid of her headache. Then she was forced to swallow something called Alka-Seltzer, which tasted ghastly and didn't do much for getting rid of her stomach ache. She didn't even bother trying to get rid of the two circles under her eyes…or Jack's eyes as there was no remedy to immediately diminishing the bruising. She had to smile as that punch to Jack's nose did feel good.

Once her headache was gone and her stomach felt somewhat normal or what she believed was normal, Selmak was going to attempt a new task. She was not going out in public looking like a mess. One's outward appearance was always important to her. And Selmak needed her outward appearance to be sane and calm while talking to Dr. Jackson.

There was a possibility that he wouldn't believe her. However, she had no one else to turn to. Plus, she was highly motivated to make things right. She didn't want to spend the rest of her days as Jack O'Neill and she couldn't in good conscience abandon Jacob. Anyway, she was betting on the fact the Dr. Jackson was open minded enough to entertain the possibility that she and Jack switched places. After all, Daniel had first hand experience with the whole body switching thing.

"Ok, let's see," she exhaled wiping the moisture off the bathroom mirror. "I can do this. I've seen Jacob do this a number of times."

Selmak picked up the can of shaving gel and read the instructions. After vigorously shaking the can, she sprayed some gel into the palm of her left hand.

"Well, that doesn't look like nearly enough!" she exclaimed then sprayed more.

Satisfied, she applied the generous amount of gel to the bristly stubble on Jack's face. Of course, she used way too much shaving gel as there was an abundant supply on her hands. After rinsing her hands off she dunked the razor a couple of times in the hot water she'd filled the sink with. It was what Jacob always did. He said a cold razor gave him razor burn.

Whether he was handing her a line of bullshit or not, Selmak didn't want to experience what razor burn was. She was in enough pain as it was. Her memories of watching him shave were all she had to go on. After all, Jacob had been shaving for some forty years. It was second nature to him. He made it look so easy moving quickly around his face from left to right with his razor. Selmak had no experience and had no idea how much pressure to even use with the razor!

"Arrgg! Jacob you couldn't let me try it just once?" she exclaimed. Then she mimicked his reply, "Hell, no Sel! A man's face is **_not_** like shaving a woman's leg! It's way more sensitive! Sensitive my ASS Jacob!"

Selmak had no choice. She took it slow with small strokes beginning just below the left side burn, just like Jacob. Besides, she figured it best to take her time so as not to scar Jack's face. She didn't want to give Jack anymore ammunition for future arguments when things returned back to normal. He'd just better be as considerate with hers and Jacob's bodies…or else!

However, as good as her intentions were she was just too inexperienced. To get that real smooth shave Jacob always got, she knew she had to put enough pressure. The result was a littler closer shave than she would have liked. At least she only nicked herself or Jack's face a couple of times.

Again, from Jacob's memories Selmak grabbed a sheet of toilet paper from the replenished roll she had placed on the dispenser. She then tore of a tiny piece and attempted to place it on one of the nicks to stop the bleeding. Only when she tried applying it, the piece of paper stuck to the tip of her finger. After trying and failing at several attempts she just used a wad of toilet paper and kept pressure on each nick until they all stopped bleeding.

Now that the hard part was over she decided it was time to shower. She prided herself on cleanliness, as did Jacob. Although she preferred baths to Jacob's showers. Jack's bathtub wasn't of adequate size so she was forced to take a shower.

"Figures, the one time I have more than a few hours to myself and I can't even take a hot bath!" she muttered as she turned the hot water on.

Once the water reached the desired temperature, Selmak quickly stripped off the layers of clothing and stood in the shower allowing the heat to penetrate and relax her. It wasn't until about fifteen minutes of just standing in the steaming hot water that she was suddenly struck with a dilemma.

Jacob's number one rule was that Selmak was to never touch his private bit and pieces. Not even if his bladder was about to explode. Hence the dilemma, did that same rule apply to Jack? After all, in a sense she was occupying his body, her mind was where Jack's should be.

"For Egeria's sake! This is ridiculous! It's not like I've never handled one before. I did have a mate for seven hundred years before he was killed. And **_he_** enjoyed my touch!"

She decided the best course of action was to clean up as quickly as possible. Then she dried up and dressed even faster! It wasn't that she didn't mind seeing men naked. She'd seen many over the course of her lifetime. But she couldn't look at men like that anymore as Jacob was her host now. And she knew he would want no part of seeing or even remember her seeing Jack O'Neill naked!

At least, Selmak hoped that things would be fixed and that she would be able to share this experience with her host.


	8. Chapter 8

When Jack didn't answer his front door, Daniel decided to let himself in. It was easy enough as Jack hardly ever locked the front door when he was home. Plus, this wasn't the first time Daniel had to do such a thing. Jack often overslept, ignored his alarm, and turned off his cell phone on his days off. A few of those days when he was supposed to get together with Daniel and Teal'c for breakfast Jack had overslept, hence the reason why Daniel simply let himself in.

In this instance, there was a potentially urgent mission that would most likely need SG-1 so it was Daniel's job to wake up Jack. As a precaution, Daniel made his way to the kitchen with the intention of making a pot of very strong coffee on the chance that Jack was hung over.

After the blowout yesterday with Selmak it was a strong probability.

Or…maybe not.

"Jack?" he called to the open refrigerator door.

Jack's head bolted up with this surprised look on his face. The swelling in his nose had gone but was replaced with two dark circles eyes. It was bound to happen one of these days where Jack's mouth went to far and pushed someone over the edge. Daniel himself had been close a few times.

He was just most surprised that that someone ended up being Selmak. The ex-Tok'ra symbiote was normally calm and reserved. When in action during battle he was calculative and never impulsive. And Jacob was the **_exact_** same way! In fact, Daniel honestly didn't think anything could get Jacob or Selmak riled up enough to throw a punch like that at a friend.

"Dr. Jackson!"

'**_Dr._** Jackson? Jack hasn't called me that since…' Daniel thought to himself. He was about to question why Jack called him that but thought better of it. Jack might be in one of his 'moods' and it'd be best for Daniel if he found out which mood the man was in first. Instead Daniel decided to play along and smiled, "Last time I checked."

"Right…sorry…Daniel," Jack mumbled.

It was at that moment that Daniel noticed the distinct odor of Pinesol in the air. Ok, so the scent of a cleaning agent wasn't that uncommon. But around Jack…it was…rare! To be sure, Daniel moved around to get a better look inside the refrigerator. It was…spotless and…**_empty_**.

"Are you…cleaning?"

"This refrigerator was a pigsty!" Jack uncharacteristically exclaimed. "Someone had to clean it! That lazy nimrod…I mean I've been lazy lately and decided to clean up on my day off."

Wait a second! **_That_** did not sound like Jack. He usually had some mad reason for keeping food in his refrigerator well past the edible stage. The sight of Jack actually throwing away Chinese food containers from the fridge was a something Daniel had never seen before. Teal'c often questioned if Jack was doing scientific experiments in there. And Daniel made the mistake of opening one out of curiosity...he couldn't get the smell out of his nose for hours.

"Jack, you sure you're alright?" Daniel asked, as Jack was tossing the last take out container into the trash bin.

"Doct…**_Daniel_**, I'm fine. Never been better!" he grinned nervously.

It was a nervous grin. Not one of Jack's normal smirks. It was almost as if he were hiding something.

"**_I'm fine_**. What's up?" Jack asked, suddenly sounding very normal.

Maybe Daniel was imagining things. He was a little weary. He'd been putting in too many long hours at the SGC lately and really needed a vacation. But with the war against the Goa'uld going on there wasn't really time for such things.

"General Hammond needs us at the base for an emergency mission. I stopped by to wake you up."

"Mission?" Jack questioned, looking…well he looked a little…odd…if Daniel had never seen Jack in action, he'd say that his friend looked…**_afraid_**.

"Jack, did you hit your head? You're not acting like yourself."

"No, I'm fine. Just….just have a headache…hangover, you know," he answered than quickly changed the subject. "So, what's this mission about?"

"Not sure exactly. Hammond needs me to do a little research based on the information a probe relayed back to Earth before the briefing. Then he'll decide if we're a go for the mission or not."

Jack grimaced as he rubbed the back of his neck. It wasn't really a grimace of pain. He looked less than enthusiastic, presumably about having to go on a mission. Odd, the man was **_always_** ready for a mission unless it involved the Tok'ra. And it was kind of ironic…Jack was rubbing the back of his neck the exact same way Jacob often did. And Jacob was a man that Jack wasn't getting along with lately!

"Jack…"

"I know," he sighed. "You're driving though."

"What?"

"Are you deaf? **_You're_** driving,"

"What happened to your truck?"

Jack stared at him for a moment.

"Gas…that's right. It's out of gas," he simply said, stone faced with no emotions.

"Ok," Daniel replied slowly, pondering if perhaps this is just all a big joke by Jack. Wouldn't be the first time. "Fine, let's go."

Daniel hurried outside and head towards his car. While he called the base to say they were on route, Jack came out the door in a hurry. Then he rushed back to close the door. Halfway to the car, he turned around again, this time searching for something in his pockets. Daniel watched as Jack frantically searched until he pulled out his keys then locked the front door.

Finally, after Jack climbed into the car Daniel started the engine. His nose caught a whiff of something. It was coming from Jack.

"What?" Jack asked, glancing at his jeans and T-shirt. He even lifted the flaps of his jacket and looked. "Is this not appropriate apparel?"

"Is that…cologne you're wearing?"

"Is it a crime to want to smell nice? For Egeria's sake!" he shouted defensively. "I'm not some mindless oaf that doesn't know the difference between the stink of a dog's ass and the perfumes at Victoria Secret!"

"Sorry!" Daniel blinked, wondering just what the hell was going on with Jack!

And why on Earth would Jack be using the name Egeria. He usually had more...**_colorful_** terms when expressing himself or when speaking of someone.

"I really need a vacation," Daniel whispered to himself.

"What?" Jack asked as he buckled his seat belt.

"Oh, I was just mentioning that…that I could use a vacation."

"Me too," Jack spoke softly. Then as Daniel pulled out onto the street Jack suddenly asked, "Does this side have an airbag? They say most accidents occur within a mile of one's home. Of course, you're doing the driving but we still within a mile of my house."

"Jack, are you sure you're ok?"

"Other than my splitting headache…I'm just peachy. But you didn't answer my question."

"Yes, the passenger side has an airbag."

"Excellent. Don't drive above the recommended speed limit. In fact, you can drive a little slower if you want. I won't mind."

Daniel didn't know what to say. The man sitting beside him had the most sincere smile on his face and sounded as if he meant every word. Only the man Daniel knew as Jack O'Neill didn't smile like that, at least not to him. The man Daniel knew always had a smirk or a smart-alecky grin. The man sitting beside him was Jack O'Neill only he didn't sound **_anything_** like Jack O'Neill that Daniel knew. Plus, Jack had a lead foot!

"Perhaps, I should drive. You don't look so well, Dr. Jackson."

"I'm fine," Daniel said shaking his head. Maybe he was simply too tired. "I just need…"

"A vacation…right. I understand completely. It's been a few decades since I've taken a **_real_** vacation myself."

"**_Decades_**?" Daniel mouthed to himself as he kept his eyes on the road.

Jack didn't notice. He was being uncharacteristically chatty. Although, he wasn't talking about anything particular, he was just…rambling on. Perhaps this would be a good time to…

"Jack, I was wondering if you'd now want to talk about what happened between you and Selmak yesterday."

Dead silence filled the inside compartment of the car.

"There's nothing to talk about. Words were exchanged, blows were exchanged…what's done is done. There's no changing it," Jack spoke softly staring out the passenger window.

"I still think you owe Selmak an apology."

"I'm afraid no apology can undo what happened," Jack sighed.

Daniel was going to pressure Jack but decided against it. He could sense that Jack was no longer in a talkative mood. He was back to being more like the Jack that Daniel knew. Still, it might be best to have Teal'c keep an eye on Jack. If anyone could determine if something was truly wrong with Jack it would be Teal'c. At least Teal'c would be able to get Jack to talk.


End file.
